The death of a loved one is the most emotionally, and often physically painful ordeal anyone can endure. The stages of grief have been identified and well documented by those of us who help people cope with loss. However, one phenomenon in particular needs to be addressed, and that is “The Firsts.”
The Firsts are significant dates associated with the person such as his or her birthday, date of passing and anniversary dates. The first year after a death is particularly painful not just because of the newness of the loss, but also because significant dates are excruciating reminders of the pain inflicted by the loss
It is perfectly normal during the Holiday Season to fell intensified pain because of “The Firsts.” Holidays are supposed to be a time of happiness and joy. All too often they remind us of who we have lost. The first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day becomes a source of torment instead of a day of joy.
Why does this happen? It is because as in love as in the laws of physics, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In short, we grieve as deeply as we have loved.
Yet spirits are connected to us through the energetic bond of love. Spirits of our loved ones will often reach out from the Other Side reach out to help us in our grieving.
As a psychic medium, I have the ability to communicate with spirits. Recently during a telephone reading for a young married couple, the woman’s’ mother came through. I heard and conveyed the message from her mother’s spirit, “This Christmas, just go for a walk.”
There was a pause, and the client replied, “My mother died on Christmas Eve last year. I was so devastated that last Christmas Day all I did was walk along the beach with my dogs.”
The client continued, “I can’t bring myself to celebrate Christmas, much less put up a tree. My husband and I wanted to just spend time together at the beach again. It makes me feel better to know I shouldn’t push myself this Christmas.”
Her mother’s spirit knew that she needs more time to heal. When she is ready to celebrate Christmas again she will. We all grieve at our own pace and in our own way. We cannot force ourselves to be happy. Grief is a lifetime journey, and taking the first step through “The Firsts” is up to you.
And sometimes it may just be walking on the beach with your dogs.
For more information on Grief Management, please visit: http://www.evidenceofeternity.com/bereaved-resources/